Self Introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
I am writing to introduce myself to you in the hopes that you get to know me better. My name is Nurfarzana and I am a first-year civil engineering student attending your effective communication module. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in civil engineering with business.
My interest is specifically environment engineering as it stems from the fact that it surrounds my life all the time. My mother used to work at an engineering company pertaining to construction and at times, she brought home structural plan views. This sparked an interest in me to learn more about the civil industry. When I started venturing into the civil industry, the idea of a job that enables me to change the environment or surroundings and make a difference in people’s lives appeals to me. With this, I was sure of taking studies that will further reinforce my interest in the environmental domain. I am still exploring the different sub-parts of environmental engineering and this interest might fade or change over time. While I foresee a hard and stressful job, I also expect it to be satisfying, especially when I can see projects I’ve worked on from start to completion.
I align more with written communication in which I can take my time to type out my thoughts rather than have to verbally speak on the spot. In addition to that, I am constantly expanding my vocabulary even by a little and casually use it in conversations.
On that subject matter, I struggle to convey what I have in mind and put them in a constructive and concise manner. I rarely partake in big discussions as I fear that the way I speak is not professional and lacks intellectual standards. While my brain is loading for answers, others seem to be able to think on one's feet. Thus, I have a few goals in mind that I hope to achieve. It is closely related as I enhance my critical thinking, subsequently, it will aid me to communicate with confidence. I look forward to improving myself under your guidance.
With gratitude,
Farzana
Edited: 8/02/2022
Read: Chester, Hakim, Thomas
Dear Farzana,
ReplyDeleteI am delighted to hear more about you and your civil engineering interests! Your letter is very interesting but has several errors which I would like to point out, such as:
1. When addressing the Professor, you should address him as his surname. Hence, instead of Professor Brad, it should be Professor Blacsktone.
2. In the phrase "being involved in the film industry as a civil engineer may only be wishful thinking", I find that this does not link to anything you have mentioned in the letter, hence it would perhaps be better to remove it.
With that being said, I hope you learn more about effective communication in this class and become more confident in your speaking skills.
Best regards,
Chester Tang
Hi Chester,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and giving your inputs. I do realise the phrase I included did not link with anything because I didn’t provide more information about it. I shall amend my draft and improve on it.
Regards,
Farzana
Dear Farzana,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate how you used examples to illustrate your points. However, I think your 2nd paragraph could have used more clarity and organisation as you jumped from civil to film without any context. Also, I think you need to add in and explain what differentiates you from others in your letter. Hope to get to know you better and see you in class!
Best regards,
Yumeme
Hi Yumeme,
DeleteThanks for reading my letter and I hope you’re able to learn more about me. Appreciate your comments and after re-reading, I realised my abrupt change in topic should be elaborated more. I shall improve my next draft. Hope to work together in future classes!
Regards,
Farzana
Hi Farzana,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading the first paragraph of your introductory letter as it really gives me an in-depth understanding of your interest in civil engineering and how it came about. However, I feel that you can describe a little more on how you would like to be involved in the film industry as an engineer so that others can have a better understanding on what are your goals. Thank you.
Best Regards,
Muhd Zulfadhli
Hi Zul,
DeleteThanks for reading my letter and appreciate your comments. I shall improve my next letter draft after amending my lack of description regarding my goals.
Regards,
Farzana
Dear Farzana,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this concise and rather informative letter. You've covered the requirements of the assignment brief, and we learn a bit about you in the process.
For starters, you mention the environment and film in reference to interests and that a passion for these subjects has motivated you to study engineering. I'm curious about the specifics of each of those though. Which part of the environment? And what aspect of film? Can you be more concrete? Did these interests begin in primary school? How? Did any teacher or relative inspire you? Explaining these points would give more depth to the content. (You might be advised to focus on one -- film or the environment -- and flesh it out in more detail.)
You do openly share about your hesitation to speak and how you lack confidence. That is certainly not a bad thing, but I would like to see you express yourself more in class, with you stepping further out of your comfort zone, so to speak. Practice makes perfect, after all.
One strength that I see in this letter is that your grammar skills are quite good. I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Best wishes,
Brad
Dear Professor Brad,
DeleteThank you for reading my letter and giving your comments. I appreciate your helping questions that will aid me to be more descriptive about my engineering interest. With your guidance, I hope to practice my public speaking skills in class.
Regards,
Farzana